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Travesties and Other Such Crap

The Eroica community is a pretty good community as things go. There's not a lot of crap that goes around there, people are usually pretty good at giving  concrit. Unlike all the other places, the Harry Potter community as an example, you can actually find some good stuff without trawling through mounds of things you might not be interested in. And that's not slandering the HP comm at all; they're really diverse, and I admire them for that. But the Eroica comm has people who can write well, or draw well, or at least see beyond their nose. You might not see their point of view, but nothing in there particularly makes you want to shout: WTF?!

That is, until you see this fic. I trust that I am expressing my personal opinion here, really sorry that I'm offending someone, but this thing is disgusting. I don't see how the author bothered to study the fandom at all, or at least fail to see that there are some serious problems with the way she interpretes the actions in From Eroica With Love.

***

Major Klaus dem Eberbach paced his office. Annoyed as usual by his new mission. He would be forced to work with a contractor for NATO--someone he never wanted to see again. He watched as Dorian Red, the Earl of Gloria walked through his door he sneered at him. "I suppose, you want my painting as payment Eroica," the Major growled.

Eroica twittered melodically, "You need to not pay me, Eberbach, someone else will be doing NATO's bidding this time." Eroica twittered melodically, "You need to not pay me, Eberbach, someone else will be doing NATO's bidding this time." Klaus looked at him questioningly.

"I thought you worked alone!"

"Oh, I do but I have pupil now."

Klaus blinked. A pupil?! Eroica!? Who could it be?
"Who is it!?"

Dorian smiled mirthfully, "She's my cousin from France," he opened the door, "You can come in now, darling."


A girl with a slender figure appeared from the door with dark ebony hair trailing against the floor. Black bangs hung in front of her blue purple-speckled eyes which gleamed like amethyst gems. She had a pale face almost as white as the moon and she was very young with a delicate face. She wore a black dress with kimono style sleeves with a blue ribbon around her waist. She wore knee-high boots that were black and high heeled. She had a lavender colored gemstone necklace around her pale long neck and a beaded blue bracelet covering her moon-shaped birthmark. She quickly covered it modestly.

Klaus suddenly felt himself get very hot. He stared as if stunned because her deep blue/purple eyes almost seemed to bore themselves into his own. She looked stoic but in reality she was as stunned as the major. He was tall--taller even than Dorian!--with long black hair that stopped at his broad shoulders. He had a beautiful and masculine face with piercingly soft green eyes and pale skin. He was skinny but not too skinny.

"Well don't just stare at each other introduce yourselves!!!" Dorian said.

"I'm Countess Lenore Red 愛 (ai) Magnolia," Lenore's voice was soft and she looked down as she introduced herself as if too shy to look again. "Klaus," dem Eberbach said, shaking his head. What had gotten into him? he looked back at Eroica, "How old is she?" "I'm only 19, sir," Lenore spoke.

"But she's a a damn good thief! I taught her myself afterall" Dorian's blue eyes shimmered along with his long wild blonde hair. "But can she do her job well?? It will be a dangerous mission" Klaus looked at her lithe figure, "I doubt she can defend herself."

Within a blink of an eye and a flash, Lenore had Klauses arm behind his back, pinning him to the desk with her heeled boot on his back. He looked up at her shocked.

"Anymore questions?" Lenore asked, letting go of his arm. Klaus straightened himsef up and adjusted his tie, "No." "Well then lets get started shall we?" Dorian chortled. Klaus sighed. This was going to be one long mission!


i hope you guys liked it i'll post more later! :) plz comment/review


***
I mean, honest to god, what the freakin hell were you thinking when you wrote this thing? What were you on? Sugar, stupidity and Disney Princesses with floor length hair and crescent moon birthmarks? 

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
himikotakahashi
Jul. 18th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
What's worse is:

Disney (hate to insult Disney) Princess on stupidity-drug with need of hygiene whom possesses a fancy birthmark wrote a new chapter.

And Caesar Gabriel is there, for some reason.

So, Jade, don't read it.

No, turn around. Step back from the window.

It's not worth it!

Who'll do the killing when you're gone?

Okay... well, besides your sisters... but...

For the sake of MY copy of volume 13!
jade_glow
Jul. 18th, 2008 04:27 am (UTC)
Too late, Himi. The deed is done, and the manuscript (if you can call it that)has been read. And as for the killing- I've learned a lot of bad words today.

P.S: Your Eroica is still safe. But methinks that we should take ai_no_amethyst's Eroica's away from her. Maybe then she'll leave our fandom alone.
himikotakahashi
Jul. 21st, 2008 03:01 am (UTC)
I'd like my copy back all the same. I expect it's in the same condition as when you first received it?
jade_glow
Jul. 21st, 2008 06:56 am (UTC)
Actually, I ate it for breakfast. Starting with the last few pages.
himikotakahashi
Jul. 22nd, 2008 02:51 am (UTC)
That's fine. I'll take your copy.
jade_glow
Jul. 22nd, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
I'll eat that too, before I let you have it. You'll have to wait for it to come out as vomit.
mprice
Aug. 9th, 2008 05:10 am (UTC)
If you are interested in seeing what the cast made of this, might I direct you to my MSTie journal? I didn't post the sporkage in the Schloss because it was still an open wound. (Not so much now that Ara has had her tantrum, taken her toys, and gone home.)

It starts here. Links to the other parts in each post.

Please feel free to share with anyone you think may have a sense of humor. ;-D
jade_glow
Aug. 9th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
Brilliant, thanks. You must have an instinct. I was feeling really bored today.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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